


Cant touch this.... yet.

by Simirulz204



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkwardness, Conspiracy, F/M, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff, Interspecies Awkwardness, Revelations, Shock & Awe, Swearing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-04-14 17:57:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4574241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Simirulz204/pseuds/Simirulz204
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shepard has reluctantly agreed to appear on a womens chat show - her answers however, bring about a shocking revelation to one of her crew members. Set just after the battle for the Citadel. </p>
<p>i gift this little story to those i have tagged - CJBAGE, Squiggly_Squid, Rccrpntr, Bondlikejames and Quillenvy. I would like to thank all of you for inspiration, for support, for love and for encouragement. Your stories have kept me going in darkest times, made me laugh and thrilled me to no end. I will always be thankful to you and for you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DragonDreads (cjbage)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjbage/gifts), [squiggly_squid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/squiggly_squid/gifts), [bondlikejames96](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bondlikejames96/gifts), [QuillEnvy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuillEnvy/gifts), [rccrpntr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rccrpntr/gifts).



> Random thoughts that flicker through my mind on the bus on the way to work...

‘’God, why did I agree to do this?’’ Shepard asks as she paces the floor in front of the studio’s stage. The bright lights overheard instantly giving her a headache as she blinks rapidly to try and dispel the white dots she can now see floating in front of her eyes.

‘’It can’t be all that bad commander.’’ Kaidan responds with a sigh as he approaches her, intending to put a hand on her shoulder to try and calm her, but she shuffles away with a side step.

‘’I should be out shooting things, you know, _blowing shit up_ … god, why did I agree to this interview. Who gives a fuck about how woman are viewed in the military?’’ she snaps, her teeth grinding together as she focuses on the hideous pink lounge suite on stage that she will shortly be sitting in.

‘’Shepard you can’t seriously be scared of answering a nosy woman’s questions? You’re commander Shepard, Hero of the Citadel... come on, you talked Saren into _shooting himself_ , I don’t see why you’re making such a fuss. This is child’s play.’’ Garrus rumbles, his laughter bubbling up to the surface as she turns to glare at him.

‘’Shut it Vakarian, that was different and you know it! Saren made that choice himself in the end. Here…where there will probably be _millions_ of people watching me… I feel cornered Garrus and I don’t like it.’’ She says viciously, scuffing her boots on the tiled floor.

‘’Then why did you agree to it Ma’am?’’ Kaidan asks again and her eyebrows twitch in irritation as he once again tries to touch her. She glares at him until he tucks his hands behind his back and she ignores his frown.

‘’At the time I thought it would be a good idea, you know, boost morale and show that women are capable of everything men are capable of… for fucks sake, you know what I mean right?! All that feminist – ‘I’m a woman hear me roar – bullshit. I am severely regretting opening my big mouth now.’’ She huffs and she can hear Garrus still snickering at her theatrics from behind her.

She turns to look at her two companions, the two men she trusted with her life and had trusted on many occasions. The three of them brought Saren down with finesse and style, only sustaining minor injuries and in the end… _why the fuck_ was she the only one who was suddenly instantly recognisable?! The injustice of it all rankled her… her team deserved the same recognition she’d got. Why weren’t _their_ faces suddenly plastered all over recruitment posters or on billboards across the galaxy? Why had she been singled out? She ruffled her hair with one hand and sighed. Well, she was in for it now.

In combat she could spew whatever shit came out of her mouth if it meant keeping her and her team alive… here, in front of all these cameras she suddenly felt apprehensive, almost scared to open her mouth as she knew how manipulative, how conniving some anchor-women could be. She didn’t want her words to be twisted or misinterpreted.

_Suck it up_ Shepard she chanted and she waited for the roll call, for everyone to be herded on stage like cattle or like lambs being led to their slaughter. She dropped the scowl on her face and adjusted the armour on her arms as it pinched the more she tensed up. She felt a presence behind her, not touching, but close enough to at least be able to imagine the warmth coming from them and she instantly relaxed.

‘’You good Shepard?’’ Garrus drawled in her ear and she hummed an affirmative.

‘’Thanks Vakarian.’’ She muttered as she turned her head around and looked up at him. He smiled and nodded his head as he backed away.

‘’Miss Shepard, Savannah is ready for you now. Please be seated… your companions are free to wait here for you.’’ The assistant squeaked as she arranged the glasses on her face and she gulped as Shepard narrowed her eyes.

_Suck it up Shepard._

As she took her seat on the hideous plush pink couch she internally cringed as she imagined the questions she would soon face. She looked around the stage and she squinted through the lights to try and catch sight of her crew – but all she could see in the darkest corner was a blue shiny glow coming from a visor. Obviously Garrus had retreated right to the back, probably to try and keep his laughter from interfering with the show – the bastard. She couldn’t help grinning as she saw him casually wave a hand for her to get on with it so that they could go drink and continue celebrating their victory.

Shepard watched in fascination as a human woman walked on set, her high heels echoing atrociously on the fake floor of the stage and she moulded herself to the couch like she had been born there, her legs perfectly crossed in a lady-like fashion, her manicured nails now trailing through her blonde locks as she tussled it, applying lip-stick with her free hand, her eyes roaming over Shepard in disgust as she took in her scratched armour.

God, this woman was a piece of work.

Shepard suddenly felt incredibly insecure in regards to her looks in this ultra-elite place, with all these women parading about like catwalk models. She surreptitiously checked her nails, aware that she had never had a Mani or a Pedi-cure in her entire life and she fought the urge to bring her finger to her mouth and bite off the hang nail she could see.

_Yeah, this was going to be a real clusterfuck._

‘’All hands ready. We’re live in 3….2…1…’’ the assistant shouted only to end in a whisper.

‘’Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to tonight’s show. I know we have all been eagerly awaiting to speak to our guest tonight and find out just what it is that makes her tick.’’ The host said and she flashed her hundred watt smile at Shepard who blinked in confusion at the sudden change in her personality.

_Oh fuck here we go…_

******************************************************

‘’Commander Shepard, thank you for joining us.’’ The host said and she lifted a hand in greeting.

‘’Uh.. Glad to be here.’’ Shepard said quietly and cursed internally at her sudden lack of confidence.

She was Commander FUCKING Shepard. She could do this.

‘’Thank you for having me…’’ she continued on in a stronger voice and she caught the tell-tale twitch at the host’s amusement when her eyebrow lifted.

_Bitch…_

‘’Commander Shepard... would you tell us what it’s like to be a woman, in a high ranking position, in a military that is predominantly male-based? Do you face a lot of hardship?’’ the host asked, her pretty pink mouth ending up in a pout at the end of her question.

‘’No, you have to understand... the only reason that there are more men in a position of power is because it’s generally only men that apply to join the military.. It makes sense that there would be more men in power don’t you think, if hardly any women sign up?’’ she said, her hands falling open in a gesture of understanding as she leaned forward in her seat.

‘’Yes, but you must realise that some don’t see it that way. Some think that the higher ups, the men… don’t promote women because they think we are beneath them, weaker in a sense…’’ she said.

‘’No, that’s not true at all. I fought hard to get where I am today, but no more than anyone else. I completed my relevant training, gained my N7 rank and made sure to study in my spare time whether it be in tech, strategy or spending god-knows how many hours in the shooting range perfecting my aim. We all have our own ways of fighting, of rising through the ranks and I personally believe that if you have been passed over for promotion, it’s in your best interest to discover just what it is that you still have to learn, in order to be considered. In all my years in the service I have never witnessed favouritism based on gender, race or species. Yes, there may be a few crooked corners here and there but mostly, the alliance is a place where anyone has a chance to make a name for themselves. ‘’ she said and grabbed for the glass of water that had been placed in front of her, gulping greedily and earning a frown from the host.

‘’I see… Well, I am certainly glad to hear that not all women have to fear never getting anywhere in the military. You are a prime example of what can be achieved. You are being called the Hero of the Citadel. Tell me, how does that make you feel?’’ she asked and Shepard tried with all her might to not roll her eyes.

‘’While I’m flattered... I have to repeat that I could never have achieved any of this without my team. Tali, Wrex, Ashley, Kaidan, Liara and Garrus. Without them, you all would not be sitting here and I have never been more proud of them and the crew on my ship, as I am, this very moment. They are the best of the best and their respective species should remember that they did all they could to ensure a future for your children and you yourselves.’’ She said and she turned her head slightly to watch Garrus out of the corner of her eye. He had moved closer to the set, avoiding the cameras and was now leaning against a wall, his arms crossed and a smile on his face and she nearly spluttered in shock as he sent her a wink.

‘’Are you alright Commander Shepard?’’ The host asked and Shepard focused on her again, putting Garrus out of her mind for the moment. The host caught her eyes and she saw the Turian and an evil smile pulled at the corner of her lips.

‘’Let’s not talk about fighting anymore Commander Shepard, while we are and always will be appreciative of what you … and your crew… have done for us, I have several thousand viewers who are just dying to get to know the real you.’’ She smirked and Shepard felt a cold blast of nervousness shoot through her.

‘’Oh… well, um, ask away and I’ll see if I can answer.’’ She muttered around the rim of her glass, taking a final sip and setting it down before folding her hands on her lap and straightening her back.

‘’Where did you grow up Commander?’’ she asked and Shepard cringed.

‘’I , uh, grew up on Mindoir. It is a … was… a farming colony…’’ she said and her lips pressed into a thin line at the sudden onslaught of unwelcome memories.

‘’Oh dear, I am sorry to have brought that up. If I understand you were the only survivor of the slaver raid that took –‘’

‘’That’s all I have to say on the matter.’’ Shepard interrupted her and watched the host lose her composure as a dark flush of anger washed over her face.

‘’Apologies. Moving on… After you attained your N7 rank you were in charge of a team on Akuze…’’ she started to say only to stop as Shepard gave a slight hiss accompanied by a slight sneer.

‘’Once again, I have no comment on the matter. My records are public knowledge and I have no interest in discussing the death of my former team or how it feels to be splattered in acid from Thresher Maws.’’ She snapped, now losing her temper at these gossip inducing topics.

‘’Once again, I apologise… it’s just my readers want to know..’’

‘’Couldn’t they ask boring questions, like what’s my favourite colour – _which is blue by the way_ – or what shop I get my weapons from – _Rodam Expedition by the way_ – or anything that doesn’t make me talk about things that you and your viewers have no right to ask me about.’’ Shepard quipped, her eyes narrowed, slightly sucking on the inside of her cheek as her irritation made her trigger finger itch for release.

‘’Right... well…’’ the host sniffed in her disgust at Shepard’s behaviour on her show and Shepard held in a snort.

‘’Well commander, I have a question that maybe you can answer. Rumour is... you _hate_ to be touched, I know you don’t want to discuss Akuze, but a yes or no answer would suffice.’’ And she smirked again as Shepard seriously considered straight up punching this preppy, yapping blonde _chihuahua_ in the face.

‘’Yes, I don’t like to be touched but I hardly see how this could be interesting to you and your viewers, but on the other hand at least you all know now, that if you see me on the Citadel, it’s fine to come up to me and say hi... but if you touch me I will most likely end up breaking your jaw.’’ She grins, her irritation starting to lift as she pictures her stalker Conrad lying on the floor clutching his jaw with both hands and sobbing like child.

_Dumbass shouldn’t have grabbed her ass…_

‘’Well, now that certainly is _news_ to everyone.’’ The host scoffs in mock interest and she hears Garrus’ laughter join the audiences’. She could pick it out from over a hundred people.

How strange.

The questions came one after the after, varying from the mundane right down to the most absurd, each question becoming more invasive than the last and Shepard’s knee started to bounce as she grew tired of it all. Kaidan had moved to the front of the set warily, sensing his commanders growing agitation, aware that she was going to blow her top and create a scandal of epic proportions. He swallowed nervously as he saw her clench her hands.

‘’One last question before we wrap things up commander…’’ the host said, flicking her blonde locks over her shoulder.

‘’Thank god for that.’’ Shepard muttered under her breath and she swivelled on the chair, one leg crossed at the knee, her armour making screeching noises as she continued to tap her foot on the floor.

‘’Do you have a significant other? Is there a man... or a woman out there, that has caught the attention of the great Commander Shepard.’’ She asked and the audience hushed each other, everyone sitting up a little straighter than before and involuntarily Shepard’s eyes flickered over to the man in question.

‘’Err….’’

‘’Come now Commander, don’t be shy.’’ The host pressed and Shepard chewed on her bottom lip, her body unnaturally stiff and still as she struggled to formulate a response.

‘’There is someone… but, it’s far too soon for nonsense like romance. We have a universe to save, all that can come later when we’ve done what we need to do.’’ She said and her gaze once again flickered over to him, her hand coming up to pull at her short curly locks and she coughed into her hand to hide her embarrassment.

‘’What are they like?’’ the host asked and Shepard frowned.

‘’I hardly see the po-‘’

‘’Humour us, Commander.’’

_Shepard could strangle this woman quite fucking cheerfully._

‘’He’s… kind, thoughtful… the embodiment of justice, of all that is good and right in the world. He is strong and courageous… and he could kick anyone’s ass in a matter of moments. ‘’ Shepard smiles and a slight blush caresses her cheek as she clears her throat, ’’but as I said, the timing is all wrong and there could and will be many obstacles in the way so it’s best to forget about it for now.’’

‘’Oh no commander, you can’t do that. I’m sure my viewers would be supportive and help you and your man. Isn’t that right folks?’’ she asked the crowd and they cheered and applauded.

Kaidan rocked back and forth on his heels, a slight smirk on his face.

Garrus stayed still, staring at her… hardly daring to breathe, his mandibles fluttering lightly against his face.

‘’I’m sure that we will find out anyway one day wont we? I mean, _you hate it_ when people touch you but surely your significant other will be allowed those privileges?,’’ she snickered and Shepard cursed silently.

‘’That’s all for tonight folks, join us next time when we will be discussing what it’s like for an Asari to bond with a Krogan, leaving everything she knows and loves-behind- to go and live on Tuchanka. Thank you for joining us… Goodnight!’’ the host says and waves her hands as the camera cuts out and the lights dim back down to non-blinding levels.

Shepard breathes a sigh of relief and stalks off the set. Kaidan approaches her with an outstretched hand, a wicked smile on his face, smugness oozes off of him in waves and Shepard becomes vaguely nauseous at the sight. She sides steps him again, his hand clutching air and she turns her head around to watch the smile slip from his face and she falters in her steps as momentary guilt seeps into her gut.

_Well… at least that’s one way of rejecting someone without actually saying anything._

She rubs her forehead with the back of her hand; the bright lights of the set having made beads of sweat appear on her head.

‘’Move it Alenko... I need to get out of here. Pronto.’’ She barked over her shoulder, assuming her no-nonsense tone of voice and she _felt_ more than saw him snap to attention behind her.

‘’Vakarian.’’ She nodded at him as she walked to him and he bent his head forward in imitation of her.

A single moment of awkwardness washed through the air between them and she shrugged it off, straightening her shoulders and marching past him…only to get her foot caught in one of the stage lights cables and she saw the ground rushing up to meet her face.

She closed her eyes instinctively, prepared for the humiliation and the pain that will come from a full frontal floor assault.

But it never came.

A strong, armoured arm caught her around the waist and she heard a grunt as her body fell with all her weight over it, she was hauled back up, only to lean backwards, her hand reaching out automatically to seek purchase. She grabbed on to something leathery but soft and she was slammed against a hard chest –  coming face to face with Garrus.

Her eyes rushed to meet his blue ones and she sucked in a sharp breath as her nails dug into the back of his neck, his arm tightened around her waist. His breath puffed out over her face and she shivered as the scent of spice and gun oil permeated her nose and she breathed in deeply. Shepard can’t recall if they stood like that for a moment, minutes or longer but when she snapped to her senses, her _soul_ , her _heart_ thumping inside of her as his eyes continued to roam over her face, she moved away from his slowly, the hand on his neck lowering down over his armour as she pushed gently away from him.

His arm released her along with a sigh of his own, before he too came to his senses.

‘’C-Commander... I... I…’’ he shut his eyes, fully expecting to next open them to the white walls of a hospital.

Instead he cracked open an eye, peering at her through a heavy lid and blinked them both open. His commander had a hand behind her ear, her arm and elbow coming across her face, hiding half of it from view and his brow plates shot up in shock.

‘’Don’t worry about it Vakarian.’’ He heard her mutter and he trilled in disbelief as the hosts words popped into his now oxygen deprived brain.

_'I’m sure that we will find out anyway one day wont we? I mean, you hate it when people touch you but surely your significant other will be allowed those privileges?’_

‘’Oh crap.’’ He stated in awe as he watched her walk away, her armoured back glinting in the door way as she shut it behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My attempt at NOT taking life so seriously right now... :)

Back on the ship Shepard threw her pieces of armour roughly against the bulkhead of the ship. Cursing as she once more kicked her boots into her individual locker – the offending items just not staying in – she brought her hand back up to her face. The _horrendous_ pink blush on her cheeks which had wrapped around her entire face - like a pair of too-tight goggles – had yet to fucking disappear! She took a few calming breaths as her mind whirled since leaving the studio.

She had walked back to the ship with such _purpose_ and determination, that surely there were indentations on the floors of the citadel leading back to where she currently stood. Her companions – _Garrus_ \- had been silent on the return march back. An occasional throat was cleared but no one mentioned the dreaded ’ _holy crap he’s still alive_ ’ moment after Garrus had released her. As soon as they had entered the ship all three of them had scattered like particularly frightened kittens. Kaidan had taken off with a mumbled _‘ma’am’_ as he swept past her, intending to bring Joker up to speed on what had happened.

And Garrus?

Well that Turian _bastard_ had stopped directly in front of her and just - _looked_ at her. For approximately 1 and a half minutes he took in her still flushed face – the whites of his eyes still showing due to shock – and his own hand now on the back of his neck - neither of them had said a word, until he hastily stepped backwards in panic and fled. Shepard had sighed – smacking herself in the head with a palm as she trudged down to the cargo bay where she now suddenly stood, lamenting her life and feeling sorry for herself _in her underwear_.

‘’Aw fuck…’’ she cursed again as she realised that anyone with half a brain who had witnessed what had happened would now know that she had a _thing_ for her turian companion. Worse yet, now _said_ Turian knew as well! She fought the urge to run up and down the cargo bay in her underwear clutching her hair and _squealing_ in mortification. She opted, however to go have a _very_ long shower and try to cool her head – in more ways than one as this fucking blush on her face would surely _fry her brain_ if she didn’t do something about it.

Ignoring the amused look on Wrex’s face, she hastily grabbed a pair of sweats and dragged them on – her sports bra being deemed appropriate for now- she shot him a glare as he barked out a laugh in her direction.

 _Fuck him and the thresher maw he rode in on_ she though angrily.

Not liking how she suddenly came across all weak and feminine in front of this battle-worn Krogan. She dismissed him with another glare and a nod as she made her way back to the elevator – pressing the button for the crew deck. She would grab a shower, grab a ration bar from the cupboard and flee to the safety of her quarters – which would be thankfully Turian free. Reaching crew dreck, she nipped into her room, picked up her body wash and a towel and nodding her head in greeting to the few skeleton crew on board, she scampered to the communal showers, swearing that if the Normandy ever needed a retrofit – she was making sure they installed a personal shower in her quarters for moments like this. The ' _I want to die from shame_ ' moments.

The room was thick with steam and she spluttered as a waft of warm hair suddenly threatened to _choke_ her, she blinked as the water droplets landed on her head and in her eyes – her vision now blurry as she started to get undressed. She knew that someone else was obviously using the facilities and while she didn’t particularly mind getting naked in front of crew members – it was part of military life- she still chose a stall right at the back where she could have a wall at her back and a clear view of anyone coming or going. She stripped her clothing off on the way to her chosen shower, pieces falling to the floor one at a time and her toes picking up her underwear and chucking them into the corner as she kicked the rest across.

She stretched – hands high above her head, her jaw clicking from a yawn and placed her towel down on the bench in the room. She padded nakedly over to the stall and opened it. As she switched the water on she stepped back with a squawk of indignation as the cold water sprayed her and she heard a throat clearing behind her.

She closed her eyes…

_No, just NO! Nononononono… this could not fucking be happening!_

She knew that _oh-so-subtle throat clearing_ sound. There was only one living creature on this ship whose subvocals could make her knees turn to jello . Her eyes opened slowly, a cringe on her face as she realised that her blush had somehow travelled from her face all the way down and around her body, stopping right above her bare ass – which was currently, in all its glory - facing the man she just _kindofnotquite_ confessed to.

_Well…_

................ _this is awkward_ she thought, as she felt her insides shrivel up and die from embarrassment.


	3. Chapter 3

_WhatdoIdowhatdoidowhatdoido?!_

_Fuckityfuckshitfuck!_

In that split second before turning around Shepard weighed her options in her head. What was the most important thing that needed covering with her meagre small hands?

_Breasts?_

Well, he probably wouldn’t notice them to begin with, given that he was a Turian with little to no experience with ogling them… ok, so…. _Ladybits?_

Yeah. Yeah, she should definitely cover that… had she waxed recently? …was it the _amazon_ down there? Would he honestly care?

Nope, but she _sure as shit_ did.

Covering her ladybits it was then. Her free hand… maybe she should use it to repeatedly smack herself upside the head – maybe this situation would prove to be a mirage of some sort… Huh... well what was ne-

‘’Shepard?’’

Snapping to attention like someone had shoved a particularly prickly pinecone up her backside, she whirled around and cursed herself only momentarily as instinct kicked in and she adopted a standard military pose of _‘at ease_ ’.

 _Oh the beauty of it all_ … she cursed.

Hands clasped behind her back, head held high, back straight and perky bits all perky and _oh, christ…_ ladybits and their modesty all but forgotten as she faced her Turian with legs marginally apart.

‘’Vakarian.’’ She croaked and went even redder as she heard her panicked voice.

‘’I, uh, you.. I mean, I _didn’tthinkanyonewashere_.’’ He muttered, his subvocals shrilly _screaming_ at this unexpected view before him. His eyes flew to the ceiling of the ship and her red blush suddenly paled in comparison to the blue blood rushing up his neck as he studiously avoided looking at her.

‘’Ah… well, yes. Here I am.’’ She said, for some reason choosing to follow his gaze up to the ceiling as she realised with _aching clarity_ that he was as naked as she was. As tempting as it would be to let her eyes _lollygag_ all over him she suddenly couldn’t bare (no pun intended) to look at him either.

‘’So..

‘’So..

They both jumped at the sound of each other’s voices and Shepard couldn’t help a small squeak of _hysterical_ giggles escape past her lips.

_You are the commanding office on board this vessel! Get your shit together!_

‘’Vakarian…we done here?’’ she asked, forcing the words out from behind her teeth which were clamping down hard on her hysteria.

‘’Uh…’’ he said.

‘’Good.’’ She replied.

‘’I’ll just.. you know.. Go. I should _go_. I _should_ go…’’ he panicked.

‘’Yeah. ‘’ she sure as fuck agreed with said aforementioned panic.

She lowered her eyes for a brief fraction of a second, catching his as he copied her and both their nostrils _flared_ in extreme awkwardness. Without so much as a by your leave, he did exactly that. Leave. All but running from the stalls only barely nabbing a spare towel with one clawed finger on his way out to tie around his waist as he hightailed it out of there. Once the doors had closed – Shepard’s _version of hell_ came to life.

She burst into a fit of tiny giggles; _tiny tinny little_ giggles which sounded absolutely ridiculous as the sounds ping-ponged back and forth across the walls, increasing the hysteria that she had just let loose. As mortifying as this was to her, she couldn’t help but find it _utterly_ endearing. How even though they had surely been in a state of undress around each other before, now that they KNEW, now that they were both conscious of the fact that she welcomed his touch and he was allowed to touch her… their entire relationship had changed in a single afternoon. It was absurdly funny to her as she wiped tears of mirth out of her eyes and caught her breath by plunging herself head first into the spray of the shower. Her shoulders still shaking as she fought to control the girly-girl inside of her that threatened to come up and out of her.

_Ah, life sure was strange._

********************************************

Sneaking back to her room, towel wrapped securely around her body, she paused for a moment as she caught a flicker of movement from the mess. Liara and Tali were sitting at the table, heads bent together, hushed whispers and garbled speech and Shepard felt a spike of unease climb up her spine.

_What were they plotting?_

She cleared her throat loudly and guiltily they split apart as if someone had just pissed all over their parade. She arched a brow as she caught their eyes and they quickly looked back down to their plates of food. Nodding her head at them she made her way back to her room. As she got dressed and sat on the end of her bed drying her hair with a towel she sighed.

_What a day._

While her and her ‘squad’ of misfits were close, it’s not like she had all that much in common with the girls in her group. Finding it easier to spar with the men on board and talk shop about the latest weapons and kill ratios. She blamed a lack of motherly love growing up. She snorted as she remembered her father trying to explain the _birds and the bees_ to her. Maybe that’s where she got her awkwardness from. As for her no touching rule... well, seeing twenty people disintegrate in front of you thanks to acid from over-grown worms, well anyone would have an _aversion_.

She had tried fruitlessly to help her squad but she just couldn’t touch them, and they kept reaching out to her, skin melting off their hands as they pleaded with her to help. _No_ , since that day touching and being touched was a _no-no_. Which begged the question – why was she suddenly okay with Garrus touching her? He had done no more and no _less_ than say… Kaidan.

And yet, she foolishly felt like she could trust him to help her, to ease her when she was in pain, acid covered skin or not. She had had this crush on him ever since they first encountered the Thorian. His little quip about not having learned about how to go about killing giant sentient plants had wormed itself inside of her heart and after the mission they had both chuckled heartily around the table in the mess about things their superiors should train them up on. Sure, her team members touched her but it was in a roundabout inadvertent way of passing ammo quickly while in a fire fight, slamming each other into walls to avoid getting shot in the head or a good natured clap on the back at a job well done. But anything more personal… like a handshake, or a hug, any tender caress with emotion other than duty behind it to her was unacceptable.

Yet Garrus… he had squeezed her body close against his when they had tangled together at the studio, she could still almost taste his breath on her face, the way his heat had seeped into her regardless of the layers of armour and she brought a hand to her mouth, worrying at her bottom lip when she recalled how he had sighed at her touch – like everything was somehow just right in the world with her in his arms. Shepard threw herself face first on her bed, not bothering to brush her hair and knowing that she would pay for it tomorrow, but for now she wanted to go to sleep and dream. Dream of tough, hardened hands, gentle yet strong holding her and easing her.

She drifted off to sleep with a small smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me... would you like to see Garrus' point of view on all of this or should i stick to Shepard? Hope this chapter made someone smile.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me readers for i have sinned... I have not updated in... months. Whoops. You're all still there right? 
> 
> Hello??
> 
> Aw crap....

Shepard and Tali were chatting idly the next morning as they made their way through the docks, approaching the pick-up point that they had arranged with the rest of the team. The Citadel was absolutely _heaving_ with traffic this morning and Shepard glanced at the chaos, wondering if it was wise to be hiring a cab in the middle of rush hour. A skycar was parking itself in front of them in one of the empty bays, the doors sliding up and out to allow entry. Walking towards it, Shepard froze as she surveyed the scene before her.

Wrex was sitting in the driver’s seat, a big burly arm hanging over the passenger headrest as he stared back at her with a smirk on his unusually wide mouth. Liara had claimed the passenger seat – she too, just coyly looked at her with an arched brow. Shepard’s eyes flicked to the back seat – which could only really seat two people – and her breath hitched as she saw the familiar blue of a visor. Her favourite Turian was seated in the back, one leg crossed over his knee and a casual arm resting over the backseat with a datapad in his free hand.

He was resolutely ignoring her.

‘’Get in Shepard.’’ She heard Tali say and her eyebrows disappeared into her hair.

‘’W-what? You can’t be serious…’’ she trailed off as her heartbeat thudded loudly in her ears.

It really was a tiny sky car… _like seriously, seriously fucking tiny_ … and…and…everyone would need to touch each other – and _holy fuck_ , this means she would have to climb onto her Turians lap in order to fit them all in.

‘’Uh, you know what Tali, somehow I don’t think we’re all going fit into this car here… I think I’ll just catch the ne- _Ooomph!’_ ’ she grunted as she felt something hit her squarely in the back and she landed with a thump on her knees inside the car on top of the seats, her face now mere inches away from Garrus’ crotch.

Shepard would swear to her dying day that she heard a nearly inaudible surprised squeak come from her Turian.

She cursed Tali who had dared to push her, plotting swift and sweet retribution for herself later. She lifted her eyes to meet Garrus’ and she could have sworn that she saw amusement and laughter dancing in them as they swept over her form. Quickly backtracking, she tried to right herself, placing a hand on the floor to push herself up. Miscalculating, she landed on her ass on the seats with a curse. Her scheming Quarian suddenly pushed in from the open door and forced Shepard to press up close against Garrus, who visibly stiffened as their bodies touched.

‘’Shepard, you really need to move up, I can’t get in properly and I doubt the doors will close this way.’’

‘’Tali.’’ Shepard growled.

Her irritation at being forced into such a situation and the – albeit welcome – contact with Garrus, made a vein on her forehead twitch as she glared at the younger woman.

‘’Well what the fuck do you want me to do about it! I can’t very well climb onto Vakarian’s lap!’’ Shepard all but snarled, her temper getting the better of her.

‘’Well no, we wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable Shepard, would we? However, I don’t think we have much of a choice – so scoot!’’ Tali chuckled and Shepard inhaled deeply as she fought the urge to lash out at all her comrades.

_She could do this! Yeah, it’s not like she was afraid of touching people – She just didn’t like it. At all… Unless it was Garrus. Okay, she could do this. Piece of cake!_

The doors to the car started to come down and with a mad rush Tali squeezed in. Shepard moved onto Garrus’ lap and his arms lifted to accommodate her. She felt the heat from his light-armoured covered body, penetrate her backside and she squirmed on top of him – trying to get comfortable. He growled low in her ear as he leaned forward, his breath tickling the back of her neck making goose bumps break out over her body as he dropped the padd he was holding into a slot next to her knee. His arms came up awkwardly to fold around her waist and Shepard gripped the headrest in front of her with enough force to _choke_ an Elcor to death.

_Someone… Anyone… Dear God… give me a threshermaw to kill! Anything but this humiliation. Mutiny! That’s what this was. Fucking First Class Not-So-Subtle Mutiny!_

She was trying to sit still.. _. really…_ she was trying! But with a final push Tali had the doors closed and the darkness of the interior of the car, battered against her last remaining senses and she closed her eyes as the vehicle rose up and began their ascent.

‘’Comfy back there Shepard?’’ Wrex hollered, making everyone in the car cry out in squeaks and growls in their surprise.

‘’ _Goddammit_ Wrex, no need to shout, I’m only on the backseat!’’

‘’Hahah! Just wanted to make sure you were paying attention Shepard.’’

_Dear God have mercy… on their souls._

_Cause she sure shit would'nt._

***************************************************

Reaching Anderson's office took just shy of twenty minutes. In those twenty minutes, Shepard had taken to picturing her nearest and dearest in varying forms of agonising death. Dying slowly. Dying painfully. Bringing them back to life and killing them all over again. She had accepted the bodily contact – not having much choice in the matter – but what she could not abide by was the constant smirking, the twitch of a suggestive eyebrow from Liara and the guwaffing from Wrex whenever he caught her eye.

Garrus… _did not move a muscle for the entire journey._ Either he was scared out of his mind at having his commander in his lap... or he was to scared out of his mind at having a woman in his lap who was known for _beating people_ within an inch of their lives when said woman was touched.

Getting out of the vehicle was the most graceless spectacle Shepard had _ever_ been seen in, in her entire life. She scrambled from his lap the moment the car doors opened and made sure to put atleast ten feet between her and everyone else.

‘’Shepard… we don’t bite.’’ Wrex barked at her from the other side of the car, his laughter shaking the metal walls.

She gave him the finger and upon turning she could have sworn she heard someone mutter ‘’maybe she’s into that kinda thing’’.

‘’All of you, hurry the hell up and let’s get this over with. Vakarian, you said you needed to speak to Pallin about getting back in to C-sec, so we’ll head over there first. Liara, your skinny blue ass is staying on the ship with me right?,’’ at her nod Shepard looked over at Wrex. ‘’And you, _oh great Krogan warrior_ , you’ve been as tight lipped as krogan could be possibly try to be ... what’s the deal? You sticking around to kick some more ass?’’

‘’No Shepard. I’ve got some ass to kick on Tuchanka. My idiot brood-brother is currently ruler and I’ve decided I don’t like that very much. So we’ll part ways for a while.’’

‘’Ah, well I’ll be sad to see you go… but at least everyone on the ship will get a decent night’s sleep. Your snoring is fucking _horrible_ Wrex.’’

‘’And humans stink. What’s your point?’’

Witty retort on her tongue at the ready, she bit it instead when Tali interrupted.

‘’Shepard, would you mind dropping me off at the Flotilla? I need to get this data back to my father. I’m still _technically_ on my pilgrimage.’’

‘’Yeah and I’m not paying for a ticket to Tuchanka so you need to drop me off too.’’ Wrex muttered as he glared at an Asari who brushed by to close them.

‘’ _Jesus_ , I feel like I’m running a taxi service.’’ Shepard groaned but her group could tell she didn’t mind ferrying them about.

‘’Ok, we’ll get you all to your prospective planets.. or err.. ships and then I can kick ass in peace and quiet.. or as much as I can get when I’m not blowing shit up.’’

The five of them made their way up the stairs, Shepard vetoing the whole ‘crowded-in-a-elevator’ idea before it could pass anyone’s lips.

_Yup, nipping that in the bud right now._

*********************************

‘’Shepard, the council needs you to take a team out and wipe up the remaining Geth pockets we’ve had reports about.’’ Anderson said, ignoring the outraged snort coming from the woman in front of him.

‘’Seriously?’’

‘’Yes Shepard.’’

‘’No, like SERIOUSLY? Sir.’’

‘’Indeed.’’

‘’Ah Anderson, if I had balls... you’d really be kicking them right about now. Sir.’’

‘’I know you don’t like it, that you have better things to do, like prepare for the reapers, but we need you to get this done first.’’

‘’Yeah..’’ she sighed, plonking her backside down on an empty seat.

‘’They don’t believe me do they?’’

‘’Who? The council?’’

‘’Mmm’’

‘’Would you believe you?’’

‘’Maybe.’’

‘’Get it done Shepard and come back. We’ll start by getting together another team and digging through the debris, maybe we’ll find something in all this mess that will be enough proof.’’

‘’Ok, we’ll do some clean-up for you, but when I get back – _so help me_ \- if the council doesn’t take this seriously, I’m going to be hard pressed to NOT shove my size six boot up their asses. Excluding yours of course Sir.’’

‘’Noted. Dismissed Commander.’’ He smiled at her as she made a show of standing up. She saluted and made her way to the door.

‘’Oh and Shepard? Do try to stay alive won’t you? I’ve got no one else to gripe to. You can’t deprive an old man like me of one of his pleasures in life.’’

‘’You got it old man.’’ She smirked, giving him a wave as she slipped through the doors.

****************************************

Having left the office she spotted Garrus at the end of the hallway, talking to another Turian, mandibles clicking furiously as he obviously argued with whoever he was talking to. Seeing that he had spotted her she stifled a smile as his back straightened and his mandibles pulled tight against his face.

‘’Commander.’’

‘’Vakarian. You all set here?’’

‘’Yeah, just having a difference of opinion.’’ He grinned his toothy grin and made introductions.

‘'Chellick. Commander Shepard. Commander.. Chellick.’’

‘’It’s an honor to meet you Ma’am.’’ His head dipped in greeting and he stuck out his hand.

‘’Uh…’’ Shepard looked at his hand like it had grown a form of fungus and the man dropped it hastily. Raising an eyebrow at Garrus, she motioned him over with nod to her side.

Quickly, he stepped in next to Shepard and bumped shoulders with her subtly.

‘’Sorry Chellick.. I have a… _thing…_ about touching people. Don’t take offense please.’’ She asked with a smile directed at him and he visibly calmed, his shoulders relaxing at the earlier perceived slight.

‘’Not to worry Shepard. I’d be happy to get to know why.. if you’re free for a drink later?’’

‘’Commander Shepard is busy.’’ Shepard looked at her Turian, crossing her arms and faced him with a look that said ‘ _since when do you speak for me?_ ’. He shrugged and to prove some kind of point to Chellick that she was obviously missing out on.. he bumped shoulders with her again.

‘’Well, it was nice to meet you Chellick and maybe we can get that drink when I get back from patrol.’’ She gave him another smirk and with a half wave, motioned to Garrus to follow her. He did.

_Naturally._

As the silence stretched to breaking point, she sighed. Ok, this awkwardness had gone on long enough. Turning to him and leaning back against the railing of their meeting spot she looked him up and down and cocked her head to side.

‘’Vakarian.’’

‘’Yes Commander?’’

‘’I like you.’’

‘’Uh…’’

‘’I mean I _LIKE_ like you. Romantically I mean. Do you get it?’’

‘’Uh..mmm.’’

‘’Is this going to be an issue?’’

‘’Uh…. No?’’

‘’You sure?’’

‘’Ah… yeah?’’

‘’Well alright then.’’

As they stood there in their little silent bubble she reviewed the conversation they had just had. She thought that went rather well. She got straight to the point, didn’t fuck around with messy feelings or long drawn out speeches. He had accepted her statement with little fuss and apart from the monosyllables from him and the shell-shocked look on his face; she thought he took it rather well.

‘’Commander?’’

‘’Yeah Garrus?’’

''…''

‘’Garrus?’’

‘’Yeah, sorry. Brain froze up.’’

''… ''

‘’Well?’’

‘’Is Alenko going with you on patrol?’’

‘’Wow, Garrus. Complete sentences. I’m shocked.’’

''… ''

‘’Sorry Vakarian, that was mean. Yes, the boy scout is coming with me. Why?’’

‘’Just wondering.’’

‘’Oh.’’

‘’When do you ship out?’’

‘’Anderson’s given me a two weeks to rest up and get my shit together and then I’ll be out in the black for god knows how long while I clean up geth schmoop off the bottom of my boot.’’ Shepard watched him as he scratched absent-mindedly at his chin with a glove covered hand. His eyes on constant watch around them as the gears in his head formed his next sentence. She counted the plates on the side of his neck while she waited for him to speak.

After reaching twenty she lost her patience.

‘’Spit it out Garrus. The guys will be here soon and I don’t know If I want them to get in on this conversation.’’ She pushed of the railing and stopped in front of him. Arms folding in a mirror image of him.

‘Is he capable of watching your six? Will he… keep you safe?’’ he looked down and only then seemed to realise how close she actually was. He reflexively took a step back, but to her own surprise her hand shot out to grab at his elbow and she pulled him back to her. Her translator crackled in her ear when his garbled, panicked subvocals reached her and she winced and rubbed it in annoyance.

‘’Sorry Shepard.’’ She saw him take a deep breath. ‘’ I always kind of expect to get beaten when I touch you. Even with your recent… _declaration?_.. I’m still a bit jumpy.’’ He smiled sheepishly at her.

‘ _’Declaration?_ Jesus, Garrus I didn’t declare my undying love for you. Just told you that you had the potential to get that kind of response from me.’’ Her brows furrowed and she heard him chuckle.

‘’Youre not very good at this whole romance thing are you?’’ he laughed at her when she scowled.

‘’ _What,_ do you want me to buy you some chocolates or flowers and make a big hoo-ha about the whole thing? Get over yourself. You know me by now; we’ve bled together more times than I can count so you should know that hearts and feelings aren’t something I do often. Or at all.’’

‘’Yeah, I get that Shepard.’’

‘’Yeah.’’

‘’Thank you Shepard.’’

‘’For what?’’

‘’For liking me.’’

‘’Is this the part when you say ‘ _it’s me not you_ ’?’’ she pinched the bridge of her nose and huffed, eyes closed as she considered how she was going to handle this upcoming rejection.

‘’Not at all, Shepard. I just… need some time... to think about things. It’s not like human women confess to me daily…’’ she swatted him hard on the arm and squealed _‘confession my ass!’_ as he laughed and stepped back to avoid another blow.

‘’Just let me try wrap my mind around it.’’

‘’Alright Garrus. You win. Have your time. But I’d rather you just get it over and done with _when or if_ you decide that you don’t like your partners to be human.’’

‘’Noted.’’

She nodded at him and went back to her railing, having spotted the crew walking towards them. She shook her head fondly and in exasperation as Liara waggled her eyebrows and Tali and Wrex made rude hip thrusting motions in her direction. Getting in to the vehicle this time was easier, as now that she had taken care of the whole teenage angst _‘I like him but does he like me_ ’ bullshit, she climbed onto his lap without further ado. She leaned back against his chest and folded her arms. The startled looks of her team mates made her uncharacteristically burst out laughing and as she felt the Turians arms come around her waist again, she sucked in a breath as she heard him whisper into her left ear.

‘’Definite potential.’’


End file.
